My mother started her chemotherapy treatments for the cancer two weeks ago. She's taking her treatments in Atlanta, so I'm not there with her for a lot of what she's going through. When she left for her first treatment it reminded me so much of the day Eddie left to go to rehab. I remembered the mix of feelings and emotions I had as I watched him leave. I was sad that things had reached the point where he had to go away to get help but also relieved that he had finally agreed to seek the help he needed. I was angry that he had a disease he couldn't control but glad there were others who could help him learn to control it. I was scared because I didn't know for sure what the results of the treatment would be but hopeful that the results would be positive. I had those same feelings when my mother left - sad, relieved, angry, glad, scared, and hopeful.
Although the feelings have been the same everything else is very different. I knew when Eddie left that his treatment would last for about six weeks. I have no idea how long my mother's treatment will continue. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see or talk to Eddie while he was gone, but I talk to my mother every day and see her every week. I've met the doctors who are helping my mother but I didn't see any of the people who were helping Eddie until the end of his stay. My mother's treatment will be physical whereas Eddie's treatment was mainly psychological (although attitude and state of mind are important factors in both cases). While Eddie was gone, my mother was here to help me get through it. Eddie isn't here to help me with what my mother is going through now.
I know how things ended with Eddie, but I don't know what the outcome of my mother's treatment will be. I hope and pray that it will be different from Eddie's. Although his time in rehab seemed to have helped him initially, the positive results weren't lasting. Hopefully the results of my mother's treatment will not only be successful but permanent.
"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts." Romans 5:3-5