I had seen his reactions when the Braves started having winning seasons during the 1990's after being a losing franchise for so many years. I knew how excited he would have been watching them clinch their division again today after eight years, and it made me sad that he wasn't here to see it. I've come to realize lately that any sadness I still feel about Eddie's death is because of what he's missing by not being here. He took away a great deal from Trey, his family, his friends, and me with his suicide, but he took away even more from himself. He deprived us of the life we had known, but we are adjusting and will go on with different lives. I do not feel sorry for myself, but I do feel sorry for what Eddie will never get to experience.
Because of these feelings it was an emotional afternoon for me. I was excited to see the Braves win but regretful that Eddie wasn't here to see it too. I knew if he had been he would have gotten on the phone with Trey and his dad immediately after the game to share the excitement of the championship with them. Luckily a very good friend was here to watch the end of the game and the subsequent celebration with me which was a huge help. To that person I would like to say thank you - I don't think you even knew what your being here meant.
I will watch the Braves throughout the playoffs cheering for them like any true fan. I want them to have a long successful run ending with a World Series championship. I know this will mean more emotional times for me, but that's okay because I will have other family members and friends to share the games and the excitement with.
"My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging." ~Hank Aaron