"When It Rains"

I've quoted the Bible, Max Lucado, and Helen Steiner Rice in many of my previous writings.  I'm going to do a 180 degree turnaround and quote someone totally different in this one ... Kid Rock.  I don't like all of his music, but some of his songs are very good with very meaningful words.  I've listened to one in particular many times and always feel like the words could have been written about me.  "When It Rains" ...

"Like a deer in the headlights, I stood frozen in my tracks
And the weight of the news, it nearly broke my back ...

Now when it rains it pours
Wish I didn't know now the things I never knew before ...

Like a deer in the headlights, I stood frozen in my tracks
And the weight of you not here nearly broke my back ...

And the tears they felt like a monsoon
Underneath the cold fall moon
Somehow God put his hands on your shoulders
Way too, way too soon ...

Now when it rains, it pours
Wish I didn't know now the things I never knew before ..."

This song pretty much says it all about how I felt in the beginning and how I still feel about some things now.  When I first found out what had happened I was literally like a deer in headlights - frozen, unable to move or comprehend what was going on around me.  Hearing the news that Eddie was dead was almost more than I could bear, and over time it nearly killed me along with him.  I wish now that I didn't know the things I never knew before all of this happened in my life.  I wish I didn't know about alcoholism.  I wish I didn't know about suicide.  I wish I didn't know about grief.  I'm by no means an expert on these subjects but I now know way more than I ever wanted to know.